


Harder Than He Thought

by mhunter10



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, patient, psychiatric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 16:18:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8760220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mhunter10/pseuds/mhunter10





	

The loud buzzing of the secure doorway as it opened somehow made Mickey relax a little, reminding him of his days in juvie. It meant safety. It kept people out, not in. Mickey said this to himself as he walked down the long hallway, trying to remember what the woman at the front desk had told him. Was it left, right left or right, left, right? Or maybe left, left, right? He shook his head and took a breath, wishing he was exhaling nicotine. He turned the corner and almost crashed into a nurse helping an older woman in slippers that looked like she was having the best day ever. Scratch the cigarette, Mickey wanted what she was on if it meant he didn’t have to feel like crawling out of his skin and bolting back out the front door.

His feet had apparently been paying more attention because he finally reached the common area he was told to wait for Ian in till he was finished with the therapist. He sat down and took out his phone, staring at the screen to avoid looking around at the other people there. There was a small family in a corner talking in low whispers, seemingly having an argument rather than a happy reunion. There was a young man in a wheelchair staring at the carpet while his kid read at him. Mickey guessed it was his wife sitting next to him, staring sadly off into space with tired, wet eyes. It made that crawling feeling come back, imagining he and Yevgeny looking the same. He put his thumb and finger to the bridge of his nose and pressed hard, closing his eyes tight. Ian was just bipolar. He didn’t have whatever this guy had. He probably wouldn’t even be in here that long, once they got him on the right medication. At least, that’s what Lip and Fiona had made it sound like.

Every time Mickey heard the door that lead to the private offices, his head shot up; eyes searching for familiar red. He looked at the clock on the opposite wall again and saw that it was already going on four. Another ten minutes passed and suddenly Ian emerged and was standing right in front of him. He looked agitated, but also relieved and slightly wary. Mickey immediately stood, raking his eyes over the rest of the boy in front of him; guiltily checking for any signs that things had gotten worse. Ian had noticed.

“If you’re waiting for me to crack, you might want to sit back down, Mick,” he said with a slight glint in his eye. He nodded his head towards another hallway, “…c’mon. My room’s this way.”

Mickey nodded and followed, still watching him closely.

When they got to the room, Ian stopped and pointed to the clipboard hanging on the door. “You need to put your name here and the time,” he said casually, as he slid a magnet to ‘IN’ on a small whiteboard.

“Jesus, I haven’t written my name this much since last time I got locked up” Mickey griped, using the pen attached by a knotted piece of string. “What do they think I’m gonna do, break you out?” Ian didn’t say anything, just opened the door and led them in.

Mickey looked around at the standard room. Clearly the other Gallaghers had been there, judging by the pictures and cards. Ian sat on his bed and scanned a large calendar pinned to a small closet. He pointed at something on the day’s date then cursed. He threw himself back, covering his face with his arms.

“Hey, what’s wrong? You okay?” Mickey asked, walking over quickly.

“Yes, Mickey, I’m fine!” Ian gritted.

Mickey was taken aback. “I’m sorry, I was just–”

“Every little fucking thing I do around here, ten people asking if I’m okay! I can’t just be angry or happy or excited! Telling me to calm down, take a breath, take a seat, take these pills!” Ian laughed loudly, “I’ve got more people up my ass than when I was working at the club!”

“Hey, Ian, just–” Mickey tried.

Ian stood up fast and backed Mickey up against the table by the window. “Just what? Huh? Just relax?” 

“Alright, Tyson, give it a rest!” Mickey said angrily out of habit. The edge of the table was digging into his lower back, and he had both hands flat on Ian’s chest.

Ian stared at him another moment before backing down. He stepped away slightly and smiled for the first time since Mickey had been there.

“What?” Mickey asked, concern mixed with annoyance.

“I was just fucking with you, Mick. I had to know…” he looked down and put his hands in his pockets.

Mickey straightened up and rubbed at his back, still looking at Ian. “Know what?”

Ian shrugged and went to sit on the bed. “If you’d changed too.”

Mickey let that sink in then walked over and sat down next to him. He waited for him to continue.

“Lip talked about school when he wasn’t reassuring me everything would be okay. Carl got caught trying to get into the pill storage, Debbie played nurse as always, Liam looked terrified to be in a hospital again, and Fiona…” he sighed, running his hand through his hair, “…it was like she didn’t even know me anymore.”

Mickey didn’t want to admit what he’d noticed about the family for a while, so he just nodded.

“It was all 'yes,Ian’, 'don’t upset Ian’, 'watch Ian while I go to the bathroom to answer texts’” and as if to prove his point, a nurse poked her head in just then.

“Everything okay in here, Ian?” she smiled, not hiding the pity and caution.

“I’m fine, Beth.” Ian said with less bite than he wanted. Mickey just glared protectively till she left.

“Can we close that?” He pointed at the door. Ian shook his head and scooted onto the bed more. Mickey didn’t even hesitate, sliding up next to him and laying back on the pillows.

“This is nice.” Ian laughed a little.

Mickey eyed the younger boy. “How was the session?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Is the food good at least?”

“It’s fine.”

“What do you do for fun around here?”

Ian didn’t answer.

“Anybody try anything?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know…” Mickey was quiet for a while, listening to Ian breathe next to him. He missed that sound coupled with the warmth. “They got you on anything?” he asked cautiously.

“Mick..” Ian warned.

Mickey sat up a bit, frustrated “Well are you sleeping?”

Ian sat up fully and turned to him “Are you?!”

“No!” Mickey admitted easily, not shying away from Ian’s outburst. “Not since you been in here” he added.

Ian deflated, sinking back down and staring at the ceiling.

They were silent for a long time, settling into each other and wordlessly agreeing on skipping the feelings and confessions. At least for now.

“How’s Yev?” Ian asked quietly.

“Good.”

“Lana?”

“Rolling in dough.”

“From the bun in her oven?”

A beat passed and Mickey found himself rolling his eyes. He’d almost forgotten how.

“You’re crazy.”

“I know.”

They were quiet again.

Mickey looked at the time. They had fifteen more minutes. He put his arm over Ian and his head on his shoulder. He inhaled him like he had that day, holding on tight. It felt good to feel Ian against him again.

This was going to be harder than he thought.


End file.
